


A Boy Who Was Tall

by StrawberriesxBeyond



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Does that make sense?, Implied Unrequited Love, M/M, Short, dead Marco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 13:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1471906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawberriesxBeyond/pseuds/StrawberriesxBeyond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I saw a boy who was tall, though he could not reach the walls, and I thanked god for that mercy, for what a horrible sight over those walls it would be..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Boy Who Was Tall

**Author's Note:**

> I typed this up the other night on my iPod when I couldn't sleep after drowning myself in jeanmarco feels watching a bunch of amv's on YouTube. I'm not allowed to start any new fanfics, so consider this my first contribution to the fandom and last until I finish all my other works.

You taught me so much in a matter of minutes, what the rest of the world couldn't in a matter of years. With each freckle I'd count, I'd discover a world, and each smile I'd see brought a little more faith to me. It was not right for a boy to know so much, but then again, it was not right for a boy to know so little. You easily proved that to me, yet I feel, in this world, only you can make that be. In this world, it wasn't even our world. It was not supposed to be just "you and me" but "us and them" with you and me in between and him and her right after "he and she." They didn't let it be "you and me," but we sure did, and soon it was not me, but just you, because that's all I saw. I saw a boy who was tall, who had a smile that'd crinkle and a laugh that'd soothe. I saw a boy with brown eyes that rivaled the size of the moon, a moon that stood no chance against the size of his heart. I saw a boy who was tall, though he could not reach the walls, and I thanked god for that mercy, for what a horrible sight over those walls it would be for those big brown eyes, and what an awful shame it'd be to take away such a smile and a laugh.

He deserved a better world, but it did not deserve him, and he'd deny this fact 'til the end, because that's just who he is. Just who he was.

The manner, in which I discovered where you inherited your dusting of freckles from, was not how I wished. Would it be inconsiderate of me to tell your mother how I counted those freckles everyday in mess halls and bunk beds? Would it be inconsiderate to tell her how long I'd spent deciding the shade of brown that were your eyes while in the sun and off to bed after lights out? Would it be inconsiderate of me to tell you how beautiful your family is, just as you are? And you'd deny this fact as well, had I ever informed you of it, and it's a damn shame I never did because you are beautiful, everything you did, and every word you spoke that still echoes in the air.

You brought a light I didn't know could ignite, and a hope that I could never quite grasp. You did not bring me flight, but you showed me the wings I never knew I already had. How unfair I could not use them with you, and how selfish of me I'd only ever want to, were I with you.

You're light went out too soon, for it left behind a glow that refuses to fade, and it insists on haunting me. It grows brighter with each tear of doubt I shed and lasts longer with each sigh of regret I speak. It is a strange caress that is suffocating yet uplifting all at once and in it, I've never felt so alone for how much comfort it brings me. It feels safe, and it makes me anxious, because it feels like you. Even when you are gone, and I no longer see you, I feel nothing but you.

It is no longer "you and me" in between "us and them" after "him and her" because he is dead and she is dead and they aren't dead, and even you are dead, and I will be soon too. It is no longer "us and them," never was "us _and_ them," it is "us or them" and it had always and forever will be. It's an ugly truth that took an uglier loss for me to realize that we do not simply coexist with them, but instead we are against them - always have been against them. I wanted a carefree life when I met you, but now I've come to understand that I want more than a carefree life, but a _free_ life. I want a free life for me, but most of all for you because you’ve deserved it more than anyone for what you so selflessly gave and even now continue to give.  And I still wonder every night if you are yet free as I wish for you to be, and I continue to wonder if you are as proud of me as I'd hope you'd be, and I always will wonder 'til I'm finally with you too. How I can’t wait to finally be with you too.

There used to be a boy who was tall, with a smile and a laugh and brown eyes and a heart that rivaled the size of the moon. It is "him" and only him, and he is beautiful, as every freckle upon his skin is a new world worth counting. I only saw him.

Because the little you taught me was so much.


End file.
